How To Not Take A Negative E-Mail Personal

how to not take a negative email personal

The ups and downs of life as a freelancer

I always dreamed about being a freelancer, and being flexible with my time. I could work from cafés, go to a fitness class at 11AM if I wished to, or meet up with a friend and rip out a whole afternoon of my calendar. And trust me, those are the perks of being a freelancer, but I’ve notices one thing that for sure can get me down more than it did at my 9 to 5; a negative e-mail.

It’s not even that people are more rude, now that I’m freelance, but my startpoint is different now than it was before. I’m fighting for my own little business, and every negative e-mail is essentially more work to put food on the table. To put it very black and white. I’ve had endless conversations with my mom about this issue, as she has her own consulting business, and she's been very helpful to shift my reaction from “I’m now depressed and will take the rest of the afternoon off, thank you very much” to “They don’t know what they’re missing out on.” So I thought I would write this blogpost to hopefully help out other fellow freelancers out there or even if you have this issue with your 9 to 5.


send out more e-mails

Just because you get one negative e-mail doesn’t mean you won’t get a positive e-mail five minutes after. So just think “too bad for them,” write them back a very nice response keeping the door open (never be rude, you might cross paths later on), and then move on. Start researching other companies to reach out to, that might even be a way better fit. If you already have a list of potential companies ready then go ahead and send out those e-mails. Feel confident, this will show!


distract yourself

It’s definitely okay to feel down about a lost opportunity, but try to keep it to 5 minutes. Give yourself that time (you can even set an alarm), and then distract yourself with something else to get over it. Put on your favorite song and dance it out, go for a little walk with a podcast in your ears, or go work out. But come back stronger!



Shop my look

Scarf - SOJOS

Jeans - Zara

Boots - Loavies

Sweater - Marled

Sunglasses - Ray-Ban


Talk to friends

Letting out your frustrations might make you feel better, so call your work-wife or best friend and spill the beans. They will listen to you, and give you advice on how you exactly move on. My mom is so good at this (and my dad as well), so I always call them to discuss situations I’m confused about and to get advice on how to be better. And that leads me to the next point.


Learn from it

Make sure you look at how you can improve your approach to companies. Write your next e-mails a little different, maybe you can research them more to make the e-mail feel more personal. Maybe you should call the person you’re trying to reach? Make sure, that you’re always pushing yourself to do better than yesterday. This way you will know, that you didn’t get that negative e-mail because you weren’t doing a great job. It just wasn’t the right fit.


how to not take a negative email personal

don’t take it personal

They really don’t know you personally, so how can you think it is personal? That’s what I’m telling myself.