Losing My Best Friend


Wednesday evening, August 8th 2018, my grandmother passed away.

After 18 years of batteling cancer, she had to give up. She would have turned 81 today. The day of her funeral. She was in so much pain, and she was so weak, yet she was the strongest woman I've ever known.

One of the most common sentences I've heard this last month has been "It's so good that you at least have some quality time with her home in Denmark," "remember that this is how life goes, and she got 80 years", and after she passed away last week it's been "now she isn't in pain anymore." And I agree. But it's also some bullshit. Cancer took away my grandmother. She was in pain that I wouldn't wish for my worst enemy. 

My grandmother was my best friend. She was the one I could talk to about every single thing in life. She would never judge, she would never tell me what to do. She would give me her wisdom. She always said to me that I needed to find my own happiness. That I'm my own person. 

I wasn't going to blog, be on Instagram, YouTube, anything for a while. But I felt like writing. And I know my grandmother would want me to keep doing what I love. Keep living. Although I would rather just lay in bed. Cry. But writing for me has always been my brain going for a run. A good workout. 

These photos Edward and I shot the day she died. We had no clue what was about to happen that evening. I even sent one of these photos to my grandfather, because my grandparents loved following my journey and everything I did. She loved flowers. I actually asked her about flowers a few weeks ago. I wanted to know her favorite flower, but one turned into two and three. And she had to admit that she couldn't choose one favorite. She just loved flowers overall. And so does my grandfather, so I thought these photos from a beautiful sunflower field fit this post. 

To my grandmother. The most beautiful soul. Thank you for everything you gave me, I will forever love you. <3